Getting Ready To go Home

Almost a month in hospital, 4 big operations under my belt, and more to come, there was still such a long way to go. But I had been making good headway. I was however more than ready for home, I was hanging out to see my kinds, I had never been away from them for so long and really, I just wanted to go home, be in my own space.

The Doctors STILL didn't really know what they were going to do with my leg, and every time they came to see me, they would alway tap my good leg and say, you know Rach, we may just have to take bone from this leg, and EVERYTIME they said that, I'd think, I'm just gonna be fucked, both legs are gonna end up fucked, and fear would slowly creep in. There is still a very high chance that I will loose my leg or worse yet, I'd loose one leg and the other would be useless.

I'd been doing everything the doctors had been telling me to do. I had been doing loads of rehab exercises. The healing of the recovery was going really well. I was in good spirits (most of the time) and was highly focused and motivated.

Writing a blog after the fact is never going to portray the highs and lows of such a trauma, but I can assure you, there are no two days the same, and just when you think "I got this" you don't, and end up taking four steps back from the ONE you just took forward.

What I found during my entire recovery, was how I wouldn't think of, never thought of taking moment to remember to look back and see how far I had come. You get so focused on looking ahead, and how far there is still to go to overcome the next hurdle, you forget to realise you just "made it" over the last little hurdle. I still do this, even today.

There is so much poking and prodding when your body is in such a state, and to be fair, it really doesn't matter what you are in hospital for. What I DID learn is, you leave your dignity at the front door, and pick it up on the way out. Forget about having ANY dignity while in hospital.

Part of trying to distract my over active imagination, I went on a crusade to try and find people who had helped me at the accident site and whatd'ya know, the woman I mentioned earlier who befriended me, she knew the one of the crew from Westpac Helicoptor who had flown me to Wellington Hospital, she arranged for him to come and meet me.

I was so excited. it was something different to think about, something different to look forward to.

Mr Dave Greeberg turned up at my room - his face had such a warm smile, but at the same time, he had a mix of emotions on his face as he said to me, I'm so pleased to have learned you are still with us, "it's so nice to see you, and even nicer to see you smiling. You weren't looking so great the last time I saw you, and wasn't very sure you would make it. I am very pleased to see you are in one piece and even more surprised to see your arm is still attached to you" with a little giggle. We spent some time talking about the accident, as I still had no recollection or memory of the accident at all, so I had a lot of blanks to fill in. Dave put little perspective into my picture. Although it wasn't pleasant, I needed to have some kind of understanding. Dave helped me a lot with this and has become a friend in the process.

"The banks were never really completely filled."

One of the interesting things I did learn of the accident though was who were the first to arrive at the scene. There had been a medical conference on in Wellington, medical personnel were returning to their homes from the conference - first on the scene, an anaesthetist, then a nurse, then an off duty volunteer firefighter. They were with me until the emergency teams arrived. Did I have some angels watching out for me or what! (and I still do)

Ok, so back to the focus of getting home. There is a lot I need to be able to do for this to happen - and a lot of things need to be set up and put in place so I can have the equipment and support I will need to manage day to day life at home and I tell ya, it gets interesting..........